I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
