Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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