Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
