A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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