It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
