sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
