So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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