The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
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