ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
