it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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