sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It's blow job season.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i think i just lost a toe
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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