It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
