He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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