Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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