I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
