At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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