I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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