Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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