ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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