my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
