It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
