Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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