I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
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