Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
