I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
