Texts From Last Night

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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.

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  (774): I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me. http://tfl.nu/t4sa
  Replies (9) Good night (707) Bad night (2825)
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  (353): View more from

  Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.

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  (353): Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila. http://tfl.nu/uacf
  Replies (10) Good night (4215) Bad night (827)
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  (516): View more from New York

  doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine

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  (516): doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine http://tfl.nu/5fcf
  Replies (32) Good night (2456) Bad night (7187)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.

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  (214): Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me. http://tfl.nu/heot
  Replies (14) Good night (997) Bad night (4558)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag

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  (563): Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag http://tfl.nu/f93g
  Replies (3) Good night (2387) Bad night (918)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.

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  (248): Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated. http://tfl.nu/1crf
  Replies (21) Good night (2096) Bad night (2982)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous

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  (308): this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous http://tfl.nu/2tix
  Replies (16) Good night (756) Bad night (2916)
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  (213): View more from California

  there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.

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  (213): there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina. http://tfl.nu/2p84
  Replies (11) Good night (2640) Bad night (971)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Maybe I should forgo underwear.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  This is a family BBQ no?

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  (214): Maybe I should forgo underwear. (314): This is a family BBQ no? http://tfl.nu/2i6y
  Replies (4) Good night (2236) Bad night (1188)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me

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  (775): I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me http://tfl.nu/i130
  Replies (12) Good night (1515) Bad night (812)
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  (415): View more from California

  You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.

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  (415): You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can. http://tfl.nu/e8s7
  Replies (5) Good night (1745) Bad night (2034)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.

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  (740): I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs. http://tfl.nu/ltie
  Replies (3) Good night (1118) Bad night (591)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment

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  (701): He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment http://tfl.nu/7mc6
  Replies (3) Good night (1782) Bad night (394)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT

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  (931): ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT http://tfl.nu/g173
  Replies (21) Good night (567) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.

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  (585): Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins. http://tfl.nu/7q6y
  Replies (3) Good night (770) Bad night (275)

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