So drunk its hurt
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
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I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
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Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?