it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
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Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
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you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire