If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I wish they made helmets for livers.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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