We're facebook friends in real life
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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