she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I think pants incapable of making pants work
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.