Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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