I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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