its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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