Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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