He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
