have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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