Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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