i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
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Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
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The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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