Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize