let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
