He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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