im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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