I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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