it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
