Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
