even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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