i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
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There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
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You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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