This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
