I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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