Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
