I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Randomize
