You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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