I wanna passion pit in your ass
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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