I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
