I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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