Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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