I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
