How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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