I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
