just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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