It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
