How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
