I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
