There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
