everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
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I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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