its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
