hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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