I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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