His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
